Last year, I coached a client about her career aspirations and how to obtain them. As we continued to talk, I kept getting a feeling that she wasn’t telling me the whole truth. Oh sure, she was able to answer my questions and do so with relative confidence, but something was missing.
After a few more minutes, I just stopped talking and started looking dead at her with a slight smile on my face. She asked me a couple of times what was wrong. When I finally spoke, I told her, “I’ve been silent and staring at your because I wanted to give you all of the time and space you need to tell me the truth.”
She started tearing up.
She then told me there was something she really wanted to do, but she was afraid to step out and do (or even try) it. As we kept talking, I helped her see what was holding her back. As we continued our discussions over the next few sessions, she began to feel more confident and more excited about her dream, and was ready to begin taking steps to make the dream a reality.
Sound familiar?
I encounter so many people who really want to do a specific type of work, but the thought of really pursuing it scares them:
- I don’t know where to start!
- I don’t have enough money!
- I don’t have enough time!
- I have no idea of how to make this happen!
Yes, I’ve heard these and more, but have you ever considered your dreams will ALWAYS come three sizes too large for you today? If they were easy, they wouldn’t be dreams, they’d be to do list items! Also, you don’t have to complete step associated with your dream in one week. For some, it will take years to achieve. But, since you’re going to be working anyway, why not pursue it and end up with something you really want in the end?
All of us have experienced fear in our lives – in one way or another. How many times did the thing you feared most actually happen when you went through the situation? Probably very, very few times. When this fear occurs, we call this False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). We conjure up the worst possible scenarios in our mind and allow them to stop us in our tracks before we ever begin.
There’s only one way you can agree with the previous paragraph and that’s through experiencing it for yourself. You had to face the fear and do it anyway, didn’t you? This is what I call “facing F.E.A.R. with F.E.A.R.” – Face Everything and Respond.
The overwhelming majority of the time (of course, there are exceptions), fear shows up as a bully. It taunts you with statements and questions like:
- Who are you to do it?
- You can’t do it!
- What if they laugh at you?
- You’re not smart enough?
- You should quit?
- What if it fails?
- You aren’t good enough!
As you breakdown what you’re actually afraid of into small steps and begin to act, you’ll begin to see the fear dissolve away.
Without fear taunting, nothing can stop you!
P.S. My former client hasn’t achieved all of her dream yet, but she’s made great progress and remains excited! Go girl!
Until next time….