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What. Do. You. Want?

Written by Bernie

Bernie Frazier, SPHR is the Founder and President of CAREERCompass, LLC, a speaking and career coaching firm in St. Louis, MO. She also spent almost 25 years recruiting talent to six organizations across four industries and led the talent acquisition function for four of those organizations, including one global team.

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed something about myself.  I’ve noticed that with almost everyone I encounter, every client I’ve worked with and every talk I’ve given, I’ve asked one short and sweet question – What do you want?  

What’s been amazing is no matter who I’ve asked (C-Suite to entry-level), in over 90% of the instances, I’ve received the same response – “I don’t know.”

For some of you reading this, on the surface this may seem like a simple question, but here’s my challenge to you.  Before you try to answer it, consider what else I’ve told my listeners about this question:

“Notice what I did not ask you: 

  • I didn’t ask you, “What do you do?”
  • I didn’t ask you, “What have you done?”
  • I didn’t ask you, “What do you think you can do?”
  • And, I certainly didn’t ask you, “What have others told you to do?”

I asked you a very selfish, self-serving question.  What. Do. You. Want?”

Just four little words, but it’s one big question isn’t it?  I’m amazed at how as a society, we’ve become conditioned to not answering this question.  Why is that?  Could it be because we believe thinking about what we want is selfish and society denounces selfishness as a bad thing?  Could it be because what we really want (and don’t admit to others) is so grandiose in our minds, that we don’t give ourselves permission to even think about it?  Could it be that we used to know what we wanted, but life got in the way and we pushed our wants aside for the present circumstances, and now can’t even remember what it is we want?

On the contrary, could not focusing on what you want cause you to be miserable where you are today?  Could not focusing on what you want have caused you to take your career down a path that has proven to be unfruitful for you financially because you’re trying to be good at or engaged in something that hasn’t worked for you?  Or, could not focusing on what you want now cause you to be so deep into a career financially, that in order to make a change you can no longer afford it?

Whatever the reason for not doing what you want, I’m a firm believer that you won’t truly experience fulfillment until you do.  You may not be able to make a dramatic switch today or tomorrow, but if you begin to take baby steps in the direction you want to go, you’ll be amazed at your progress and satisfaction over time.

Until next time….